Growth

I miss the warmth

that came from the hopes 

that we would someday

be married.

The warmth of our conversations

and friendship.

The cold, biting wind of this world

is even colder when alone.

And so I'm sad

that this love did not become

what we had hoped.

And now I must let go

as a tree lets go of its seeds,

having faith that, 

beauty and life 

can't help but grow.

Unattached

I try to stay unattached
But I am captivated
Awestruck
By your beauty
The smooth curves
Of your side
The graceful way you stand
The innocent,
Playful way you laugh
You always live
In such a graceful manner
And I can't help but feel love
And miss the warmth of your touch
What am I to do
When control is lost
And all that I desire
Is you?

Unrelenting Nature

It is never easy
for a lonely person
to turn down love.
It feels like setting the governor
of a Lamborghini
to 35.
While there is strength in restraint,
is there ever a point when
piety concedes to humanity?

Unfamiliar Territories

As sweet as life itself
are memories of her.
There at the beach
near the monastery
holding and being held
in a moment of bliss.
And I love her
I feel.
With every ounce of me
I long for her.
Yet I hesitate,
as an abused child
might flinch
at a hug.
And tears flood my eyes tonight,
as these beautiful memories
flood my mind.
I can not handle the pressure I'm under
as love enters
unfamiliar territories.

They Also Are Mine

We are simply friends
I know,
but deep down we both
long to be close.
Life is beautiful,
but wouldn't it would be better
resting gently
in loving arms?
Yet at the onset of love,
I panic.
I run.
For your sake and mine
I wish love came natural for me
like flowers in Spring
and lemonade in July.
Please understand
that I don't want to hurt you.
For the tears that you cry,
they also are mine.

The World in which I'm Living

When I encounter love
I always run away,
but there's no need to hate myself anymore
for being afraid.
For much of my present relational drama
has roots in some sort of previous relational trauma.
I'm not complaining or even saying
that I'll be alone forever,
but that's the world in which I'm living
today.

Vulnerable

The words, 'You look beautiful.'
were not conjured up
Like some salesman's pitch.
Rather, captivated by her smooth skin,
long, dark hair,
and soft curves,
they simply flowed naturally.
Yet with this new vulnerability,
buried fears and old anxieties
came into painful contact with
sincere, pure and hopeful intentions.

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All That She Wants

I gave her what she desired.
Strength.
Style.
Sensuality.
I gave her what she longed for.
Dedication.
Devotion.
Dreams.
I gave her what she hoped for.
Excitement.
Encouragement.
Energy

I gave her what she needed in a guy...
When I said goodbye.